A blog that explores the concept of PDA as well as offering an insight into life with a child with PDA

Well I am pleased to say that the next six months or so should really provide PDA with a much needed and long awaited for burst of awareness.

There are plans for a TV documentary to air just before Christmas which will feature PDA.  Hopefully if the content is still included the documentary will include footage of the diagnostic assessment at the ENC, interviews with some of the staff at Sutherland House School and an interview with a recently diagnosed adult.  I imagine that the facebook support groups will immediately be flooded by many parents recognising the description and the features of PDA from the documentary as being almost like a mirror image of their own child.

I am really excited to announce that my book is now scheduled for publication in January 2015.  I have learnt an awful lot from writing this book and hopefully I will be able to take that experience forward into my next venture.  It has been a long hard slog but I am oh so nearly there now.  Phil Christie has kindly agreed to write the foreword and the introduction for my book and to also write a frequently asked questions section.  I am thrilled to bits to finally see a little bit of how the finished product will look and the book is now available for pre order.  I just hope that I have managed to do other parents and their children with PDA justice with my account of living with PDA.  I am also hoping that any professionals who reads this book will be hit by the enormity of the task that caring for a child with PDA is and that they may be able to understand the desperate need for diagnosis, recognition, understanding and support for both the parents and the child.

Also in January 2015 we can expect the publication of a new book by Phil Christie and Ruth Fidler from Jessica Kingsley Publishers ‘Can I tell you about’ series.  Hopefully this book will be a fantastic introduction to PDA for professionals, family members and siblings.  It offers to give a real understanding of PDA, from the perspective of the individual with PDA, in a bite size chunk with an easy reading format which makes it accessible to everyone. This could also be a wonderful book for helping your child understand themselves and to feel less alone and isolated.

Please help to spread awareness by sharing this blog post via social media, thank you.

For more information on PDA please visit http://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ and http://www.thepdaresource.com/

For everyday practical support and advice please visit https://www.facebook.com/groups/pdaglobal/

All or Nothing!

Well it has certainly being an eventful summer, one that has seen Mollie come out of her self-induced hibernation and begin to actively interact with those around her.  However this really has been a double edged sword for both of us.  Following months of socialising she has now retreated back into her own fantasy world.  I should be sad but if I’m honest I’m relieved.  I’m not happy that she has retreated but I am happy that I can have a break from the manic and stressful place that my home had become.

Months of having no control over my own home due to Mollie’s need to have it as an open house for whomever she chose, which was usually several children at the same time, was well and truly taking its toll.  We had put in some early plans but these were constantly being tested and pushed to the limits due to Mollie’s need to please her friends.  Play dates once or twice a week is one thing but every day for hours on end, as the sole adult, in a highly combustible situation really was taking its toll on me mentally and the constant noise was driving me nuts!  Don’t even get me started on the mess, on average, two hours a day was spent simply tidying away the destruction that was left behind following a play date.

So why do you allow it I hear you ask. Well, I simply would not have tolerated this from Jake or his friends but because of Mollie’s lack of friends and isolation I was basically willing to walk over hot coals in order to give her whatever she needed in order to facilitate a social life of some kind or another. Also any attempts that I made to encourage her friends to tidy up would completely freak her out in case having to tidy up their own mess would result in them not wanting to play with her.

I tried desperately to explain to her that this wasn’t the case and that it was normal for a mum to have house rules for play dates and to expect things to be tidied away.  However Mollie really couldn’t grasp how her friends would be able to tolerate such rules without it having a detrimental effect on how they viewed her.  I suppose if complying with demands evokes high anxiety in an individual it may be difficult for that individual to understand that this is not how demands affect others.

On top of the noise, lack of privacy in my own home and the mess I was also finding that I had to deal with a steady decline in Mollie’s behaviour.  She was snappy, abusive and extremely short tempered.  Trying to hold in her behaviours with others meant that Lee and I were facing an increase in backlashes within the home.  Screaming, shouting, and swearing, extreme panic and meltdowns over the smallest of incidents and the return of trashing the house was becoming more and more common place.

All of these factors combining together simply meant that I soon reached my capacity of what I could cope with myself.  Years of dealing with explosive and violent behaviour have greatly reduced my capacity to cope while also remaining mentally well.  The ability to not react and to let things go over my head became greatly depleted and I soon felt the dark cloud of anxiety coupled with depression threatening to visit and to outstay its welcome.

Going on holiday was just what I needed in order to give myself a break from the madness of home.  However as soon as we returned home I struggled to cope with settling back into a rather dreary, monotonous and uneventful existence on one hand but  also filled with high anxiety, noise and stress on the other hand.

Within a couple of days we had experienced several more meltdowns and mine and Mollie’s relationship, due to me not being on top form, was beginning to show cracks.  Instead of remaining calm I was retaliating back to many of her outbursts and quickly losing my own temper.  This is not the way to successfully handle a child with PDA and I would really beat myself up with guilt over not handling her properly.  However I do have to forgive myself for these periods of dyer and crappy PDA parenting because I am only human and wallowing in guilt will not undue what has been done.

Perhaps due to the level that she was struggling or perhaps due to me not coping well at all or perhaps due to a combination of the two things Mollie withdrew and she is currently behaving very well, there is no stress but she appears sad and she is cocooned in her own world again.  I feel very sorry that this has happened but this period of rest really couldn’t come soon enough for me because I was struggling to cope and feared that my cracking point was only around the corner.

I am certainly feeling much, much better due to the breathing space that this break from socialising has given me and Mollie is definitely calmer and not as highly strung.  So where do we go from here,  I guess that I will now restart the process of trying to rebuild things and to encourage her to play with her peers again but in the hope that we have both learned something from the experience which we can take forward with us for when we reattempt the social world.

In an ideal world Mollie would be able to choose to go out to play when her anxieties are low and her tolerance is high.  She would have the mental resolve to reduce the frequency and the duration of her socialising when she is struggling to cope. However this is where Mollie really struggles, it is either all or nothing and she never, ever travels along the middle ground.

Once she begins to play out she instantly becomes obsessed with being with her peers and she becomes almost manic with anticipation.  When she isn’t out playing, perhaps because her friends are out, she cannot settle at all and paces around like a caged lion repeatedly looking out of the window.

When she is playing with her peers she is working so hard, in difficult circumstances, to maintain her friendships and to keep her behaviours and her need to control under wraps that the rising anxiety must become all consuming.  Eventually it has to be released somewhere, released where she knows that, regardless of her behaviour, she will still be loved. Therefore the increasing pressure is often released in the comfort of home and it is usually her dad and I who become the target of the outburst of compressed and internalised stress.

Due to quickly becoming obsessed and manic Mollie’s ability to monitor and to make allowances for her ability to cope or rising anxieties at any given time appears to be non-existent.  Even when she is about to explode she just doesn’t appear to have the mental flexibility to think “things are really getting tough right now, I think that I will go in before I explode and have some calm time”, instead she becomes completely rigid and solely focused on remaining where she is even if her anxieties are going through the roof and the situation is quickly escalating.  So we find ourselves in the situation of Mollie either being completely overdosed on social exposure or being a complete recluse.  The happy middle ground of going out as and when she can cope, when an anxieties are low and monitoring her own anxiety levels at any given time and reacting accordingly to them just doesn’t appear to be something that she can manage.  Therefore we are left in a situation of all or nothing!

I have previously tried the book that can help some individuals deal with this very scenario called ‘The Amazing 5-Point Scale’ by Kari Dunn Buron and Mitzi Curtis.  I have also previously discussed with her via a thoughts diary and strategies of how to more successfully manage these issues.  Although she agrees in principle it doesn’t appear that she can actually put these strategies into practice when the issues arise.  Perhaps, just like many other areas, this is an area that will develop with increasing maturity and that we just need to keep plugging away at it.

Anyway, for now, I will enjoy my rest and replenish my depleted levels of patience, tolerance and emotional well-being.  Hopefully Mollie will use this time to do the same and then we can start the whole process all over again and fingers crossed we can make the next time a little bit less fraught for all of us.

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 Please click here to view my You Tube videos about PDA, also on the playlist of videos by Neville Starnes and Mollie xx https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRVOGwpSi6Q0vgrwgbuQx70eSNsJx_Cn8

 

You Tube Channel

I just thought that I would give a quick introduction to my You Tube Channel.  I have only made three videos so far but I do hope to add to them in time.  I have also made a playlist for the videos made by ‘Bluemillicent’ and for those made by other individuals with PDA including my daughter ‘Mollie’.

Here is the link for my channel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GaodcAp4uw&list=PLRVOGwpSi6Q0vgrwgbuQx70eSNsJx_Cn8&index=3

If you are also interested in joining a supportive facebook group, of which I am an admin, then please apply to the following group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/pdaglobal/

Thank you

xxxx

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Well this year’s holiday really has been a mixed bag.  We have had successes and failures, we have learnt more about how to keep Mollie calm and yet regardless of all of our attempts to keep an even keel on our ship we have still experienced sticky patches and meltdowns which have become more prevalent as the holiday continued.

However all in all I would say that it has been a success, we have managed two whole weeks away, compared to only four days last year, with only three public meltdowns and it has been a very welcome break for me to simply just get away from it all.  I think that Lee and Jake have found the daily and constant contact with Mollie, her demands, her need to control and her ever increasing autism traits very difficult and tiring to deal with.  At home Jake is often out with friends and spends very little time with Mollie and Lee escapes to work, which he admits is easier than being at home, and also has various breaks when he is at football and so on.

However for me it has been far easier to deal with Mollie on holiday than it is at home.  I have company, activities to do with her and I don’t feel as isolated and lonely as I do at home.  Home life has become far more stressful for me due to Mollie now playing out and having her friends round all of the time.  It is good for her and I am very grateful for this chance for her to socialise and have friends.  However it plays havoc with my nervous system because the atmosphere is so highly charged and ready to blow at any given minute.  This means that I never, ever relax or feel unstressed for a single minute of the day when I am at home.

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Achievements to Celebrate

    • Mollie has been able to access lots of activities on a daily basis and appears to be much more at ease in the social world than she did last year.
    • She made a couple of friends who appeared to enjoy her company for the few days that they were here.
    • She greatly enjoyed her day at the beach and really revelled at her first attempt at snorkelling.
    • Mollie has been able to access the arts and crafts club and had done lots of artistic creations.  She has attended on her own and been able to cope being with other adults without my protection.  She has also enjoyed a degree of independence by being able to make her way to and from various places on the campsite by herself and free from adult supervision.
    • The holiday has also been very educational, Mollie has been to trips to Dinosaur World and Bygones (which was an exhibition about the past and how we used to live).  She has also been watching a lot of CBeebies in the mornings, which is not a channel that she would usually select, this has had a lot of educational programmes on it including lots of information about World War One, ‘Horrible Histories’ and wildlife shows.  Mollie is also doing lots of drawing, loom band making and writing in the form of her personal diary. We have also being rock pooling which led to discussions about wildlife and the tides.   Her increasing knowledge about the world, for her age, is wonderful to see.
    • She has also being doing lots of arithmetic by managing her own money and insisting on adding up everyone’s crazy golf scores.
    • She really enjoyed an activity on the campsite which involved holding lots of creepy crawlies, snakes and  a few cute and fluffy animals.

 

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The Best Type of Holiday Venue for Mollie

Mollie copes far better in a caravan or bungalow than a hotel room.  She needs to feel ‘home from home’ in an environment where she has plenty of room to relax and chill out.  She has her home comforts in the form of TV, internet access (which has been intermittent), loom bands, colouring pens and importantly for all of us ‘space’.  The space to have time out, from each other, facilitated by separate rooms instead of all being stuck in one hotel room has been vital.

Following an easy couple of first days, perhaps due to the novelty factor and the reduction of anticipation by finally arriving on holiday, the veneer of normality began to slip and we went back to dealing with a child with PDA rather than one who was concealing it remarkably well.

Following difficult days, where every PDA strategy in the book had been needed to be applied and every ounce of mental flexibility and patience had been exhausted to simply maintain the status quo we would try to reflect and identify triggers that could have caused this increase to her internal anxiety thermometer.  The same can be said for any meltdowns, these are not as ferocious or as long winded as they used to be and usually take the form of being sworn and shouted at in public while also dodging a flying missile.  Not as bad as they used to be but not highly desirable and still rather embarrassing, regardless of how much of a thick skin I try to develop, when you are in a very public place.

We noticed that Mollie was definitely more difficult to deal with when we were not on the caravan site.  The site had become home from home and leaving it to go anywhere instantly put her on high alert.  She found the unpredictability of it all very difficult to deal with.   How long would we be in the car for, what if there were too many people, what if she didn’t like where we were going to and so on.  We quickly learned that if we were out that every detail needed to be planned to the last minute.  The child that once thrived on novelty now needed very strict routines and to know exactly what would be coming next at all times.  Therefore each and every day would be planned by Mollie or we would simply follow her lead or make her a list of possible options that she could choose from.

Following meltdowns we would try to see what triggers had built up during the day to produce the final finale of the meltdown.  Sometimes we simply have to guess and to try to work it out for ourselves but sometimes Mollie can help us in this area.  This is very dependent on her mood at the time and is not something that I attempt to discuss with her during or immediately after a meltdown.  I tend to pick my time carefully and even then it can be hit and miss as to whether she opens up or not.

A day at the beach ended up in a meltdown during the evening, in the bar, due to a build-up of small but anxiety provoking triggers. The following day once calm had been restored I suggested that we wrote our thoughts and feelings down in a thoughts diary, again this method will be hit and miss but it is a strategy worth keeping in my ever growing bag of PDA tricks and strategies.
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Triggers for the Meltdown Following Our Day at the Beach

  • Leaving Blueberry behind because we were afraid of losing her on the beach greatly upset her because she feels much more secure when Blueberry is with her.  Blueberry had ceased to be an active part of Mollie’s life but since her reintroduction into the social world Blueberry has mysteriously reappeared following, according to Mollie, a stay at a boarding school.  Having Blueberry injected back into our lives can be very difficult because she becomes Mollie’s PDA alter ego for when Moll wants to cause mischief but without putting herself directly in the firing line.  It is also very tiresome for Lee ‘who is Blueberrys voice’ to have to keep role playing being Blueberry Bear.  This role play is required throughout the day and night.
  • As soon as we arrived at the beach she was eager to play and even waiting while sun cream was applied, deckchairs were hired and Lee sorting the parking spot out appeared to greatly aggravate her.  Like many of our children she is unable to play by herself and needs that constant one on one interaction, meaning that this short amount of waiting filled her with pent up anxiety and boredom.
  • She wanted to play in the sea for longer than any of us could stand the cold and even though we did it in shifts it still wasn’t long enough.  She simply could not cope when we had to call time on remaining in the sea with her.
  • As the day drew to a close this also stressed her out because she didn’t want the day to end, transitions are difficult for Mollie and this is another reason why leaving the site causes issues.  It is the transition of going from one place to another.
  • At the bar she had now reached the limit and her tolerance level was full.  When she needed a drink to wash her food down her dad, according to Mollie, took too long at the bar.  The result was frustration and anxiety which she took out by annoying and stressing Jake out.  One of my few non- negotiable boundaries is that I do step in when Jake is becoming affected by her behaviours towards him.  Of course when I asked her to stop annoying her brother we had the meltdown.  My handling of the situation could have been better but my tolerance and patience tank was also by 10.00pm at night running on empty due to the huge amount of mental gymnastics that had been actively employed throughout the day in order to avoid the very thing that was now ultimately happening.

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The Other Side of the Coin (Trying to Teach Mollie How Her Actions Affect Others)

  • I am very keen to try to teach Mollie to have the ability to try to see situations from the other person’s perspective.  So I also wrote my thoughts in the thoughts diary so that she could understand and view the day from my perspective.
  • I wrote down that while I understood how things had built up for her and that we would endeavour to reduce these triggers that the day had also being difficult for me and her dad too.  We are often unaware of her worries because she doesn’t discuss them with us so that we can deal with them at the time and that dealing with the subsequent behaviour is exhausting and stressful for us.
  • While I understand the need for her to have constant attention it would be lovely for her dad and I to be allowed occasional periods of being allowed to have moments of relaxation together instead of having to be relentlessly on the go.  Due to Jake being the same as a small child we have now being relentlessly on the go during holidays for fifteen years.  It would be nice if Mollie could occasionally accommodate our needs also instead of her needs always being paramount.
  • Being sworn at and shouted at in public when we do everything that we can to meet each and every need and to provide her with as much support and understanding as possible is really upsetting for us, infact it physically hurts in the same way that a punch does, and it is not always easy to recover and move on from.

Conclusions and Strategies Devised by Mollie and I

  • Mollie will try, when her anxieties permit, to give Lee and I a small modicum of relaxation.
  • She will try to tell us her worries so that we can help her deal with them as and when they occur rather than building up inside.
  • If she feels a meltdown approaching and still has some ability to control her actions she will ask to come back to the caravan.

 

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Since the first meltdown and the success of our negotiation Mollie still had two more meltdowns and so the results are hardly instantaneous.  As the holiday continued Mollie’s behaviour became more and more controlling and difficult to manage.  I think that she was finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the family dynamics of needing to fit into a four person unit.  At home she usually experiences one on one attention within the family unit which is easier for her to cope with.  Towards the end of the holiday it was becoming increasingly difficult for us to do or to achieve anything as a family unit due to Mollie’s attempts to fully control everybody, everything and her repeated attempts to kibosh activities that we were trying to do.  However each time we go through the same routine of some type of discussion, at some point, about what has happened and measures that we can introduce for the future.  Discussion may I add is not straight forward talking as one would usually expect but is often done in a very round-about way and by various means and methods.  I suppose the positive isn’t whether or not we reduce meltdowns or triggers but is the fact that we now do have some sort of line of communication open all be it a very alternative one.

As a child I have bended completely to Mollie and given her complete freedom in order to reduce the meltdowns, restore self-esteem and to provide us with calmer waters within which to sail.  However as she goes through adolescence and enters adult hood it is so important that I at least try to help her to accommodate the needs of others, to try to see events from the other person’s perspective, to take responsibility for her own actions and how these actions can affect others and to develop some level of empathy.  She will need these skills if her progress is to continue into adulthood and although I may fail, or she may simply not be able to achieve these things, I at least need to know that I have tried.

I think that we are seeing some small degree of success in this area but like everything with PDA it is painfully slow.  There are now times when her apologies and the sorrow expressed when she has upset someone do appear genuine, rather than simply going through motions of an apology which she doesn’t actually mean.  These rare glimpses of true recognition and sorrow at how she has made someone else feel are encouraging signs that I can draw comfort from.

 

 

 

 

Progress On All Fronts!

Well it’s been ages since my last blog post.  The truth is that I haven’t had much to report, everything has simply been rolling on in a rather uneventful way.  Mollie continues to thrive and she now has a much more varied and positive existence.  She is left to do her own thing but with very careful guidance from us it is all working out very positively.

She has even started to do lots of writing, completely under her own steam, in the form of plays, songs and letters to her friends. I have also, in some of her more recent writing, noticed that with no formal teaching at all she has decided to start doing joined up writing.  Her literacy skills have vastly improved and have gone from strength to strength by simply learning naturally.  Of course, she is extremely dyslexic and so her literacy skills will never be perfect but she now has enough capability and knowledge, in this area, to be able to navigate the written word and to be able to respond with her own written points.

Here is a recent example of Mollie’s writing which for an individual with severe dyslexia, and no formal education to speak of from the age of six, is outstanding progress.
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A really important and positive development is that Mollie has decided that she wants to sleep in her own bed!! I thought that the day would never arrive but unfortunately this does mean that I now have to put up with hubbie’s constant snoring and fidgeting instead!  She decided, out of the blue, that she would like a fish tank in her room.  Once the water had settled Nemo and Flipper promptly arrived and, as long as they continue to thrive in her tank, they should soon be followed by two more fish already named, by Mollie, as Champion and Captain. The desire to watch her fish swim about appeared to prompt her to have a desire to be in her own room at night. 

Initially either Lee or myself slept on a mattress on the floor because she was uneasy about the thought of being on her own.  After a very short period she declared that she was quite alright to be by herself and so she now goes to bed at about 11.00pm and stays in her own room all night.  Of course she may often stay awake all night but she is happy, causes us no trouble and this is progression.  None of this was instigated by us it simply came naturally from her, in her own time and of her own volition.

Here are Mollie’s notes on how to look after her fish.
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For my reference she drew me a picture so that I could recognise the fish and call them by their correct names.
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Something that I was dreading with a passion was Mollie starting her periods but I am pleased to announce that it has happened and passed by rather uneventfully.  She completely took it in her stride and with added assistance from me she has coped admirably.  I think that this is a big worry for many parent of girls with PDA but hopefully your girls will take you by surprise just like Mollie has done with me.  She very proudly announced the news to her little group of friends and so those youngsters that didn’t know about periods do now.  Thankfully I had already warned the mum in question of what her daughters may be about to learn.  As ever she was totally relaxed and cool about things.

Mollie continues to play outside with peers and we now have a little group of about five girls who all knock on to play with her.  It is lovely to see her out playing on her bike and her scooter while laughing with other children. However it isn’t perfect because we do have to deal with the stress that this elicits and absorb her anxiety of coping with the outside world when she is in the home.  Her resistance to do anything at all in the home and her abruptness towards me has increased but it is much, much better than it used to be.  Infact the words please and thank you have, without prompting or requesting, become a very normal and natural part of Mollie’s vocabulary.  If she is coping with playing outside and with keeping a lot of the natural her ‘in’ then it is only reasonable to accept that some of this supressed natural Mollie will need to be unleashed inside the home.

While this approach of ‘unschooling’ may not be suitable for all children with PDA I think that it would be hard for anyone to argue with the results that we are achieving by following this very philosophy.  I am not against education and my son still attends mainstream school and does well there.  It is simply a question of following the path that is most suited to the individual involved.  One size does not fit all and I aren’t of the opinion that ‘radical unschooling’ is the best option for every child or every family.  However I do think that it is an option that should be given more credence and not so readily dismissed because it simply doesn’t fit in with normal conventions or trains of thought.  The proof of the pudding is in the eating and it is the final result that this philosophy should be judged on.

Lots of parents in my street have been supplied with Mollie’s personally tailored PDA aware pack in the hope that this will allow her and us as much tolerance and understanding from others as possible.  We only have the odd one or two neighbours that don’t appear to be understanding or tolerant to Mollie’s unique outward presentation and this can cause issues.  However the majority are onside and are extremely supportive and understanding.  For the odd one or two who aren’t then so be it, I have tried but, as they say, it’s no use knocking if there is nobody in.  I am currently cultivating a rhino skin in my airing cupboard so that these few individuals can cease to affect me in the future.

I have sent my letter off to Stoke On Trent’s ‘Clinical Commissioning Group’ requesting that my local authority officially recognise, diagnose and support individuals with PDA.  I’m not expecting any miracles any time soon but hopefully it will at least get those who are in professional positions, in my area, to be forced to at least discuss PDA.  Simultaneously, the timing could not have been better, a fellow parent in my area recently contacted me with concerns that her child may have PDA.   We have collaborated and submitted a complete pack of information re her child prior to her appointment at CAMHS.  The case and my proposal for a referral to the ENC for assessment is water tight with every possible avenue explored and answered.  Anything that CAMHS may potentially throw back at me re this case I am fully confident that I can quickly, efficiently and with knowledge bounce back, it will be interesting to see what they come back to me with.

I have also been doing loads upon loads of work on my book which has been accepted for publication by Jessica Kingsley Publishers who are quite possibly the main autism publishing house.  Fingers crossed my publishers have pencilled in a very tentative publishing date for January 2015.  Phil Christie himself, the world’s leading expert on PDA, has agreed in principal to write the forward for my book which I am absolutely thrilled about.  Obviously he has to read and agree with the contents of my book before he can fully commit but I do hope that I have done the PDA cause proud and that he feels that he can put his name to my book.  I have learned so much about writing a book while simultaneously fearing that I may, at some point, blow my own brains out.  Hopefully I can take everything forward that I have learned to my next book.  My publishers have given me excellent advice and comments and my book is now looking like a much more polished product as a result of their input. However I am sick of reading the damn thing, it’s my story, I know what’s coming next, there are no surprises on the next page and I’ve read it about fifteen times to date!

Some really exciting news is that Channel four are doing a documentary on childhood behavioural issues and that they will be featuring a slot on PDA.  They have already done some filming at the Elizabeth Newson Centre (ENC) and interviewed some of the staff involved in the diagnostic process and Ruth Fidler who is the deputy head at Sutherland House School and speaks at the PDA conferences about the correct education provision for children with PDA.  This is an amazing step in the right direction for the PDA movement, at last, some air time on mainstream TV!

The PDA Army marches on for acceptance and understanding, we will get there eventually!

 

janesherwin:

Thank you to ‘Holes In The Wall’ blog written by Helen Bonnick, a professional who has dedicated her career to studying and raising awareness of child on parent abuse.

Originally posted on HOLES IN THE WALL:

Recently I have been contacted by a number of people also blogging about teenage violence, or about diagnoses associated with children exhibiting violence to their parents or others.

Understanding PDA is a website / blog by Jane Sherwin, bringing a wealth of experience about  Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome, including a helpful booklet which explains the syndrome for professionals as well as parents, and sharing strategies that have worked with her nine year old daughter.

Dinky and Me is another personal story of life with a young child with PDA, the ups and downs and telling interventions that have not gone well because of a lack of sensitivity or awareness by professionals.

Teenage Violence at Home is a relatively new site written by a family who adopted three children who had experienced extreme early trauma some sixteen years ago. They now live with the youngest only, following years of what can only…

View original 123 more words

janesherwin:

This blog post from Julia Daunt, an adult diagnosed with PDA at the age of 13 by Professor Elizabeth Newson, is so informative, insightful and a must read for anyone either caring for or working with an individual with PDA!

Originally posted on Me, Myself and PDA:

Over the past few months many of you have submitted questions to me and in this post I’m going to try and answer them as best and as honestly as I can. I hope that my answers will give you a little bit more of an insight into PDA, and in turn your own children, but most importantly offer that ‘ray of hope’ that we all seek, so here goes nothing….. :)

Carolyn – How does your attitude to being told to do something differ from when you were a child?

My reaction depends on so many different factors like my mood at the time, who is demanding something of me, why they are doing it and how often they’ve made demands of me before. All these factors, and more, play a role so this is a difficult question to answer. If it’s a ‘needed’ demand like hospital staff telling…

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