A blog that explores the concept of PDA as well as offering an insight into life with a child with PDA

Mollie Goes to School

Following on from one of my earlier posts which you can read  here I thought that now would be a good time to give you all an update on how things are going.

Following my request for interim provision to be provided for Mollie, until a permanent placement has been identified and her EHCP finalised things have come on in leaps and bounds.

For many parents the thought of a child with PDA attending a Pupil Referral Unit may simply be seen as a disaster waiting to happen.  We may often assume that such a setting may be inflexible and rigid with tried and tested behaviour management strategies that have served them well for many years.  So it was quite a pleasant shock when I went to visit one and found the reality to be the polar opposite of what I had previously perceived.

Mollie, during her initial visit, immediately took to the head of the school and the wonderful facilities that are available for their students.  Learning is very much based around doing projects and there is a strong leaning towards creative topics and encouraging artistic flair.  Perfect I thought but now to the hard bit,  you know it folks, the bit where you try to explain PDA to a professional has only recently heard about it.  Not to mention that you need to follow this introduction to PDA with a request that they completely throw away all of those tried and tested methods and accept a whole new approach to behaviour management.

Thankfully this did go very well and the head was open and willing to learn about PDA and the necessary strategies that would be required in order to keep Mollie’s anxieties low when she is in school.  After all, if you can keep her anxieties low then this in itself can drastically reduce overtly challenging behaviour.  Following this initial meeting I forwarded the Head some links on PDA which she duly read and shared with a hand picked selection of staff.

We then attended a meeting with six staff members, including the head, and discussed PDA, Mollie and how her needs could best be met in more detail.  It was at this point that I shared with them a document that I had created outlining Mollie’s condition, how it presented in her and what I felt would be the most suitable provision and support for her.

Mollie Sherwin – Education

The following evening we took Mollie back to the school and each member of staff from the meeting had prepared for her a menu of topics that she could do in school.  The head went through each list with her and Mollie could choose which things she fancied trying and which things she didn’t want to do.  From this list a timetable of short sessions was drawn up and a very nervous Mollie attended school the next day for the first time in over two and a half years.

It is now two and half weeks later and she has attended every single day for a period of between approximately two and four hours a day.  She has enjoyed one to one sessions with six different staff, which is an amazing achievement.  Her lessons include maths, English, IT, Art, Urban Art and Environmental Science.  Each lesson she chooses from a prepared list of activities what she would like to do.

We still have a long way to go and this may of course be a honeymoon period but I do have high hopes.  I am not experiencing the spike in behaviour, that is all to familiar for so many of us when our child is holding things in when they are with others.  In fact since starting school she is actually, on the whole, happier and calmer at home.

It has taken us twelve years to reach this wonderful milestone, and I don’t mind admitting that it is a milestone that I certainly never thought would happen.  I do believe that the years of radical unschooling have been instrumental in calming Mollie enough in order to be able to access education some two and a half years later.  Other contributory factors to the vast improvements that we have recently seen are, I believe, Mollie’s maturing years, puberty & hormones and finally her total and utter awareness and understanding of her condition.

A big thank you to the wonderful provision that is currently supporting Mollie and helping her on her journey back into education.   You have made one little girl, one big brother, two parents and three grandparents very, very happy indeed.

A thought to end on is that when it comes to schools it really isn’t the type of provision that is always important but the flexibility and willingness from the staff who work there!  Therefore never judge a book by it’s cover or from what you may have heard from others, open the pages and have a read for yourself because you may be pleasantly surprised at what you find.


Living with PDA is no small feat and can often require the complete and utter sacrifice of the main carer. This ultimate sacrifice can simply but completely be the sacrifice of oneself in every shape and form.  This is not true in all cases as many children are affected to varying degrees by their condition but, for me and for many more parents that I know via support groups, it certainly is, was and will be the case for many.

Every essence of me, and of who the person that I was simply had to be sacrificed in it’s entirety in order for me to meet my child’s needs. I had to wipe blank my whole personality and my needs as a human being in order to support my child.  I, in effect, became a robot who I often felt was only there to service my child with her every want and whim and to remain emotionless during the numerous meltdowns, violent and verbal abuse.

Infact, it was whilst I was seeking help and support from ‘Mind’ that my councilor informed me that my mind set was similar to that of a person who had suffered domestic abuse.  I could no longer describe who I was or what my purpose in life was. I was to all intense and purposes simply an extension of Mollie and of PDA.  I was gone and PDA had become the only description of who I was.  Without PDA there was nothing of me left, such had my caring role consumed my life and every aspect of my inner soul.  However the sacrifice was one that I had to make, there was no choice, my child needed me and if that meant complete self sacrifice then that was what I was going to have to provide.

In time my life and Mollie’s simply became two brains, two bodies and two souls walking the same path linked by an invisible membrane that kept us inextricably together and would not allow us to part along individual paths. A parent recently said on a group that she and her son where simply one life, conjoined together and inextricably intertwined. This analogy is so very true for Mollie and I.  Our lives did indeed become one, at times it often felt that the union was not a fair and balanced one but at other times we were so completely and utterly in tune with each other.

Together we battled the injustice of being so totally and unfairly misunderstood, her as the child and me as the parent. Together we reacted the same, we fought tooth and nail against the misunderstanding of others and then exhausted from the battle we both retreated to the safe haven of home.  Together we both mourned for the loss of the outside world that lay in view outside of our window, we mourned for the acceptance that we both craved but which alluded us at every turn and we mourned for the loss of being able to be our true selves.

Eventually we learned how to co exist in harmony with each other.  After years of me having suppress my inner being in order to nurture and nourish Mollie she began to let me be me again.  Also after years of the world and I trying to make Mollie be something that she simply couldn’t be I learned to accept her just as she was, thus giving her the freedom to be her again.

We still need to both adapt to each other due to our very different mind sets, ways of dealing with things and our own individual priorities.  We are two very different people but through PDA we did become united as one single entity with a very real and shared experience of coping with the outside world when you are perceived as being different, at fault and not accepted.

With maturing years Mollie has naturally and through teaching, adapted her behaviour so that it is acceptable but without having to squash the true nature of who she is out of her.  I have also had to adapt my behaviour in order to fit in with Mollie’s needs, at times I did have to completely squash the true nature of who I am out of me in order to do this.  However as her mum and the adult this is surely my place to do so.  But slowly and in time she allowed me to re piece the inner me back together and I am gradually beginning to feel like me and to feel whole again.

We crumbled together, we fought together, we withdrew together in order to protect ourselves from further harm and now we are healing together and beginning to find ourselves and to step out into the outside world together. We are one life, one experience, one true understanding of each other and we will always be forever inextricably linked in our shared experiences and understanding of each other. Only we truly know and understand what each other has gone through and endured during our journey with PDA.

Now that we are both growing in confidence and healing from our wounds it appears that the membrane that forced us to stay so close together is relinquishing it’s hold and gradually stretching.  Mollie is now wanting to mix with peers, attempt school again and have a life of a typical teenager.  I am going to slimming world, the gym, spending quality time with my husband and doing arts and crafts.  PDA and the reactions of others forced us to become one and while we will always have that unique bond of our shared journey we are also becoming individuals again and finding an individual life for ourselves.

We have driven each other nuts over the years and life has been tough and unbearable at times.  But now the light of hope is shinning bright and strong, beckoning each of us in different directions.  Mollie is becoming a wonderful, strong and funny young lady who wishes to find friendship with peers and I am beginning to find me again.

Hello me, it’s nice to be back and to feel like me again. I am stronger, wiser and more knowledgeable from the experience. I will never be the old me but it is exciting to see who the new me will be.  The most important aspect is that I am now free to be the person that I was perhaps destined to be and maybe PDA was the signpost that I needed to find that true person and to fulfill the role that life’s grand plan had in store for me!

Was I really destined to own a bed shop for my natural life or was I destined to do something more, something that would reach and help far more people than simply selling them a bed. Perhaps this is also true for Mollie, was she destined to be a run of the mill kid or was she destined to make a difference for the benefit of others.  I like to think that the latter is true, there have been times, and there still are, when the thought of life’s true destiny and it having a plan for both of us is the only thing that has kept me going.

Thanks to a wonderful head and team of staff at a local Pupil Referral Unit who have taken PDA onboard, read and learned the strategies as well as valued our input and who have also gone to extreme lengths to meet Mollie’s needs, with great humour, enthusiasm and no pre-conceived judgment, things are looking even brighter than I ever may have even dared to hope for.

Tomorrow my courageous and brave daughter is attending school for the first time in over two and a half years, but that will be another chapter and another blog post. The purpose of this post is to give hope to those who are still fighting for air and battling to adapt and to survive in the bear pit that is, at times, life with PDA.

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For more information about PDA please contact or view

When Mollie began a state ran nursery school at the age of three, but very nearly four, years of age the change in her challenging behaviour really did explode in intensity and frequency.  Massive meltdowns involving the destruction of property, verbal outbursts and violence towards staff and her peers were common place.  Between the age of almost four and six years old she had multiple school exclusions, was banned from plays and trips unless a parent could accompany her, moved to older classes and spent a long period of time on a part time timetable.

With hindsight I do realise that many of these actions would have been classed as illegal exclusions but at that time I simply didn’t have the knowledge that I have since acquired. However this first school was very supportive and perhaps, during that time, they were also unaware of the laws surrounding informal exclusions and so I don’t bear any bad feelings regarding this time.  I think that we were both muddling through the dark together and trying to do the best that we could, especially bearing in mind that Mollie had no diagnosis of anything during this period.

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Please find the links below regarding illegal exclusions in case this is something that is currently affecting your child.



By the time she was six years old she was a school refuser due to her underlying condition causing her such high anxiety within the school setting.  Two more schools were tried but her anxiety and inability to cope was soaring. Even with excellent support and provision at her second placement she still just could not cope and within approximately eight months she was school refusing.  Her third placement, which was an independent specialist school, followed a similar fate.  At this point I removed Mollie from the school roll and we began to radically un-school her.  That was two and half years ago and the progress that she has made since that point, whilst painfully slow, has also been amazing.

Radically un-schooling Mollie has served us extremely well and the result is that I now have a completely changed child on my hands.  She is far calmer, able to discuss and reason, has better understanding and empathy towards others and copes much better with many demands of everyday living.  Also the child that was afraid to leave the home and a virtual recluse is now going out on a regular basis.  This has been achieved in fits and starts of progress followed by regression but we are now seeing only progress without the, at one time very familiar and expected, steps back.

Please find the link below from a presentation that I gave in Leeds describing our journey with Mollie in March 2015.  Even from that point in time progression has been massive.


So between the ages of 6 and 12 years Mollie has only officially accessed approximately 16 months of formal education within a school setting.  The good news is that Mollie is now doing so well that she has requested to try school again.  Obviously we have huge fears and reservations that doing so could rapidly undo all of our hard work if she is not handled in the same manner that we handle her at home.

But I have to accept that the comfort and ease of Home Ed has now served its purpose for Mollie and it is now time to trust her judgement and to step back into the abyss.  I really don’t know how she will cope within school but, as her mum, I just have to give her that chance.  She is now in desperate need of peer contact that I simply can’t facilitate for her at home.  We have tried Home Ed meet ups but they are too random and unpredictable for her, she needs the familiarity, certainty and routine that school can provide.

Mollie’s statement is now being transferred over to an EHCP and we are also pursuing education otherwise i.e. a Home Ed package from the LA during the interim in order to see how Mollie copes and to hopefully assist with a successful transition back into school.  So please do wish us luck for this very big step and the next milestone in our journey living with PDA.

Hopefully this post will give hope to many parents who desperately worry about their child not receiving a formal education, who are battling with school refusal and are afraid of what way to turn for the best.  Ultimately every child and family situation is unique and different and our path may not be suitable for all, but if this is a path that you currently find yourself on it is possible that it may reap huge rewards and ultimately help the child to access education and socialisation later in life.

Mollie is growing up very fast and hopefully this final step of recovery will be a success for us all and most importantly a success for Mollie, understanding of PDA and will give hope to those children and parents who will follow us in this most complex and challenging of journeys.

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The first ever PDA Society Parent Conference was held on the 23/09/15 and what a day it was!  I have never, ever attended an event before that was so emotionally charged from beginning to end!  The work and organisation that had gone into this conference by the PDA Society Committee was simply outstanding.  How this group of people managed to organise and host such a professional and knock out conference while simultaneously balancing family life with their own children with PDA, often in conjunction with jobs and running the PDA Society is nothing short of amazing!

pda society

The PDA Society had wanted to provide parents with a conference that would differ from the professional PDA conferences and this was pulled off and then some…. It was a conference of warmth, emotion, togetherness, tears and laughter with many memorable moments and some very special touches.

The opening short film, which was a compilation of parental quotes and pictures of individuals with PDA and parents of individuals with PDA, set to the music of ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ really was an emotional opener and set the tone for the whole day.  From that point on I think that many of us were charged up to the max and riding on the wave of a most incredible buzz.

On each table were strips of coloured paper for each parent to write on stating what things gave them strength.  A huge paper chain was to be made from all of the completed strips but it wasn’t until the end that the reasons for this would be revealed.  There were also some other really nice touches like raffles and prizes for different things which again gave the conference a really lovely flavour and differentiated it from your standard conference.

There were four presentations throughout the day which were really nicely balanced between professionals and parents.

Phil Christie, Consultant Child Psychologist got things off to a flying start with the opening presentation talking about the history of PDA, information on recent and ongoing research, where PDA now sits on the spectrum as well as some really lovely insights about how we can better understand what drives the behaviour for our children with PDA.

Jo Clarke, PhD., Director of Petros: Resilience for Life was on next and gave a very fabulous and witty presentation discussing the Dr Ross Green model for parenting based on the premise that ‘children do well if they can’ and how the use of collaboration and flexibility with your child towards a better shared understanding of each other can be so hugely beneficial for all concerned.

Following Phil and Jo’s presentations the parents attending all went to have a break, attend their preferred workshops and then have lunch.  The idea of workshops in additions to the presentations was a stroke of genius.  Not only could parent’s attending listen to the speakers but they could also get specific information, in small groups, on a variety of subjects that affect the daily lives of families living with PDA like sensory issues, siblings, de-escalation techniques, sleep and educational issues to name but a few.

I was up next and yes I was shaking with nerves and just hoping that by hook or crook I would get through it without completely losing the plot or going completely blank.  I have only ever done one presentation before which was to about 25 people and so speaking to 250 people including the likes of Phil Chrisitie, Ruth Fidler and Jo Clarke was a bit of a steep curve to face head on to say the least.  The theme for my presentation was about developing the confidence to parent the PDA way and after a shaky start I managed to get into my stride and even ran over my allocated time.  I had practiced and practiced at home and had even struggled to spin things out for my allocated 20 minute slot and so running over was somewhat of a miracle.  My apologies to anyone on the day whose workshop time was affected by running over, I was simply in a haze of fear and forgot about anything and everything else in a bid to get through my presentation in one piece.

Here are the slides from my presentation.
Parenting the PDA Way

Next up was Neville Starnes, PDA Society trustee and creator of the “bluemillicent” YouTube videos.  As ever Neville presented a beautifully written and humerous presentation.  His use of words and language was both profound and poetic striking a chord with many parents.   He finished off with a really funny comparison between the PDA diagnostic criteria and how the behaviour of many education authorities actually perfectly fits this criteria.  It was a lovely way to finish the presentations with humour and laughter.

Following the speeches the parents went to their respective workshops and I practically did a Usain Bolt to the bar for a much needed glass of vino.  It was here that I had one of my very special memories of the day when I shared an emotional hug with a parent who has found my ramblings over the past few years helpful.

The day finished off in much the same way that it had started, emotional and uplifting.  Myself, Neville, Deb West and Margo were all surprised with a lovely gift each for our support to parents, during the past few years for me and going even longer back for the others.  Then the music piped up again ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and the video began to play all of the comments of support and thanks from many parents.  The paper chain, now complete and all strips linked together, was held aloft and past from the front of the room to the back in a Mexican style wave move as the music and video continued to play.  Wow what a moment, what a feeling and what a way to end the most amazing conference.

The conference had come to an end and what a buzz it was, time to have a chill with a few of the others in the bar and savor the memories of the day.


Special thanks from me to everyone who put this conference together and for the honor of inviting me to speak.  Also a huge thank your for the massive support that was given to me both before, during and after my presentation from so many people and to the parents who came over to say hi. It was lovely to meet you all and to be able to put real life faces to so many facebook profiles.



Many individuals with PDA appear to go into complete free-fall during a certain stage of development.  The time that this period of free-fall ensues can vary from individual to individual.  Mollie’s period of free-fall was between the ages of about 6-10 years old.  Now don’t get me wrong, prior to free-fall she was extremely challenging, difficult to handle, avoidant of many demands, required constant attention, had numerous meltdowns both at home and at school and had boundless energy. However from the age of about six years old everything dramatically nosedived.  I put this down to a combination of the increasing demands of society for age appropriate behaviour exceeding her ability to cope combined with an increasing awareness of her difficulties and how others viewed her.

The signs of free fall from my experiences of PDA were as follows

  • An increasing need for full control at all times over her own environment and the people in it
  • Avoiding demands increased and escalated to anything and everything
  • She almost appeared to regress before my eyes.  What she could achieve at five years of age she was unable to achieve at 7 years of age
  • Really inappropriate behaviour began to escalate E.G. urinating in inappropriate places.
  • School refusal began at age six and continued
  • Huge issues surrounding sleep began at age six
  • Refusal to leave the home full stop began at about age seven
  • Meltdowns escalated to multiple times a day last for an hour or more over the tiniest of issues
  • Her need to cut me off from other people intensified to a suffocating level

At this stage, and it may happen at various ages depending on the individual, it is important to stand back and to take stock of the situation rather than to try to change the behaviour or to let things develop into a battle of wills.  These are the warning signs that a complete crash maybe imminent.  How you proceed now could alter the path for the future of the child. During this time much damage can be done by proceeding in the wrong direction and this can take years to undo. Alternatively proceeding down the correct path could significantly reduce the damage and make the road to recovery shorter and less bumpy.

What you can do at home

  • Reduce demands to a level that are tolerable for the child.  For some children minor adjustments may need to be made but for others a drastic reduction of demands may be the only option.
  • Really try to focus on what things are really important and what things can be relaxed on, negotiated or when full control may need to be given to the child.  This list will vary depending on age, personal circumstances and the severity of PDA exhibited by the child.
  • Try to make home as PDA friendly as possible, therefore creating a calm environment for the child.  This may mean completely adapting your way of living and what you consider to be the norm in order to fit in with the child with PDA rather than expecting or hoping that the child with PDA will adapt to your normal living environment.
  • The needs of adults may need to take a back seat in the short term but the needs of siblings may still need factoring into the equation.  The needs of siblings may become a non negotiable boundary.

What you can do about school

  • If your child has become school phobic and is increasingly distressed about attending school then continuing to try to get them into school may cause more harm than good.
  • The school may need to change their approach to the child and put the appropriate measures in place.  School refusal due to school phobia is classed as a health issue and needs addressing by the school in the form of them adjusting the environment for the child in school and making reasonable adjustments.
  • If the school are unable to adapt or to put the appropriate support into place then if it is possible remove your child from school until a full understanding of your child’s difficulties and the appropriate measures that need to be put into place have been established.
  • Don’t let local authorities, schools or welfare officers bully you with the threat of fines and prosecution.  Your child is not in school for a valid reason and this is different to truancy. The local authority has a duty to provide your child with an education, possibly at home, in the interim.  This may not need to be a formal education but could be one that simply aims to re build and re establish trust and relationships. This previous post of mine may help re this situation http://understandingpda.com/2015/03/25/school-refusal-knowledge-is-power/
  • If your child is not already on the SEN register request that he or she is placed on it and that an Individual Education Plan (IEP) is put into place.
  • If your child is already on the SEN register then he or she should be able to access an additional £6,000.00 worth of funding per annum.  If this funding is not being allocated to your child respectfully request that it is. If the school say that they don’t have the funds suggest that the school apply to the LA in order to have a top up on their SEN funding. This document goes into more detail re SEN funding and was kindly shared with me by another parent http://www.councilfordisabledchildren.org.uk/media/409191/cdc_funding_briefing_for_parents_-_final.pdf
  • If you feel that what the school can offer your child from their SEN funding falls short of the mark then apply for an Education Health and Care Plan (EHCP) in order to secure further funding to support your child. If your child is achieving academically then focus on the fact that their emotional needs and well being are not currently being met as stipulated in the SEN guidelines.Paras 6.28 to 6.35 describe the four broad areas of need that should be considered: – Communication and Interaction – Cognition and learning – social, emotional and health difficulties – sensory and/or physical needs 6.45 – (talking about the school’s assessment) It should also draw on … the views and experience of parents, the pupils own views and, if relevant, advice from external support services. Schools should take seriously any concerns raised by a parent.6.17 – Class and subject teachers, supported by their senior leadership team, should make regular assessments of progress for all pupils … 6.18 – It can include progress in areas other than attainment – for instance where a pupil needs to make additional progress with wider development or social needs in order to make a successful transition to adult life.

Most EHCP’s are refused first time around but you can then go to mediation or appeal the decision.  Don’t give up and follow each and every process through to the bitter end.

Securing the correct support for your child can be a long and tedious process but it can be achieved with persistence and tenacity.  If you look at the process like a ladder then this can help, you can’t miss a rung out in your journey to the top but instead you may have to step on each and every rung during your climb in order to correctly fulfill the pathway to support.

Even with all of the above in place it can take years before tangible differences can be seen so please don’t expect quick results. Sometimes, regardless of the strategies and environment put in place for the child, it can be a case of waiting for the maturing years of the child to catch up.

Good luck in your journey and remember, never give up!

For more information about PDA please visit http://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ & http://www.pdaresource.com/

These are exciting times indeed for the PDA Community.  At long last this condition is finally gaining some recognition and mainstream media coverage.  Unfortunately along with this comes the usual and expected harsh, hurtful and uneducated comments from the ignorant, those who are simply blinkered and unwilling to learn or to understand.

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To all of the wonderful parents out there who are living with PDA on a daily basis please, I implore you, simply ignore such rubbish and turn the other cheek.  We know and we understand each other and what an amazing job we do in such incredibly trying and difficult circumstances.  We are actually the polar opposite of bad parents because we have to be amazing parents in order to simply survive each day while simultaneously nurturing, guiding and managing the most complex of children.  Not to mention factoring in the extra skill of often having to be our child’s teacher, advocate, physiologist, psychiatrist and occupational therapist all rolled into one.

Although this awareness will bring out the worst in the ignorant it will, on a positive note, help to transform the lives and long term prospects of so many children and their families. So if we ignore the bleating’s of the bad parenting brigade and focus only on the positives then only good can come out of this exciting time.

When I discovered PDA, five years ago, awareness was very thin on the ground and information and support on the net consisted of the PDA Society (formerly known as the PDA Contact Group), the National Autistic Society (who still had PDA in their related conditions section), Autism East Midlands ( formerly known as Norsaca), The Maze and the wonderful You Tube videos by Neville Starnes https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6m8JcNEqX6e-2uBHE25BFw.  Since then awareness has steadily grown and now it is absolutely mushrooming.  I must confess that I did wonder if I would see this during my lifetime and I am stunned at how fast that it has all appeared to suddenly come together.

I can only hope that this coverage not only raises awareness for distraught parents who are desperately trying to understand their child’s complex and confusing behaviour but that it also raises awareness among professionals.

In the support group that I help to run we are having more and more parents joining us who have had professionals suggest PDA to them, in relation to their child’s difficulties, which is greatly encouraging. It wasn’t so long ago that NO professionals appeared to have heard of PDA.  It really was a case of parents trying to educate the professionals and becoming increasingly frustrated at hitting brick wall after brick wall.  Also, as a parent, when it dawns on you that your knowledge has become greater than the professional who you are turning to for support it does not instil a sense of confidence at all.  So let’s just hope that this is a massive turning point for awareness and acceptance of PDA within the professional community also.

With special thanks to Elizabeth Newson, Phil Christie, Ruth Fidler and the PDA Society for their long term efforts to get PDA recognised, accepted and for leading PDA to where we find it today, PDA is coming out of the shadows.

Also thank you to Dr R Jayaram, Dr D Harper and Maverick TV for making a very sensitively approached series and for being brave enough to go public with PDA and to stamp their colours well and truly to the PDA mast.

Born Naughty? Channel 4, Episode 1 http://youtu.be/pMTc_799URA

Born Naughty? Channel 4, Episode 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15DNtaXIjGg

‘This Morning’ interview discusses PDA with Dr Jayaram http://www.itv.com/thismorning/are-children-born-naughty

For more information about PDA please visit http://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ and http://www.thepdaresource.com/index.html


Fantastic and amazing post by Dinky’s mum in answer to all of the uneducated people who think that kids with neurological conditions are simply naughty and why a different way of parenting is what is needed rather than the old fashioned way which just does not work!!!

Originally posted on Dinky and Me:

Dinky has been diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder-pathological demand avoidance, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and sensory integration difficulties (also known as sensory processing disorder).

Or for short


Here in the UK there is a documentary series called ‘Born Naughty?’ (Click here for some info on the programme which features children with ASD-PDA)
There are so many comments like :

’No child is born naughty-it is a parenting issue.’

To an extent they have a point, but not in the way they think… Let me explain…

There was an issue with my parenting… I was made to believe that the only right parenting strategies were those for typically developing children. That was mistake number 1.

I read up on challenging children, watched supernanny and implemented lots of new behavioural strategies. They didn’t work.

Then I found out about PDA, had my lightbulb moment and this came with…

View original 468 more words


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